Making the Way in the World [closed]

Tensions in the SkyClan camp could have been cut with a sharp look, let alone a claw, ever since the execution of Sparrowpaw. The tree-climbing Clan had seemingly changed so much in that instant: peaceful Tinystar, a murderer; honorable Nightstorm, an exile; the close-knit Clan, hushed and alienated. Since then, the leader had been... distant, both literally and figuratively. The small white tom had been keeping to himself since the execution. He was in his den more often than not, but when he wasn't in his den he was either skirting off somewhere to be alone or he was nowhere in sight. Much of the Clan was likely wondering what he was thinking, or if he cared about them at all anymore.

Amberdawn knew, though. The leader truly believed he had done what was best for his Clan, and yet he regretted that it had "had" to come to that. Tinystar mourned that he had lost the trust of his Clan. The day following the execution, Amberdawn had been roaming the forest to clear the grief and melancholy from her mind when she stumbled upon their small leader, half-buried in snow and racked with sobs and regrets. He did not regret the most important thing, though: he did not regret taking the life of an apprentice. Amberdawn had kept it all to herself. When she had returned with him to camp, she explained he had simply fallen asleep outside of camp.

She had not spoken to him since then.

Amberdawn stood by the fresh-kill pile, staring at a tiny little starling. She wasn't sure if she was hungry, but she felt uncertain about a lot of things nowadays. At least her faith in being a medicine cat had become stronger. If she had nothing else, she had that. And her Clanmates, it seemed. The golden tabby she-cat glanced across the clearing of SkyClan's camp, which was still littered with snow despite the noon sun shining above, and spotted the familiar pelt of her friend, Leafpaw. "Hey Leafpaw, are you hungry?" she called, trying not to cringe at the sound of her own voice breaking the silence of camp.

Walking through the snow covered camp, Sunpaw looked forward to grabbing some prey from the freshkill pile and take it back to his warm nest before he had to go on a patrol. With his gaze facing the cold earth bellow, the tall, lean apprentice stopped in his tracks when the sound of voices hit his abnormally large ears. Snapping his head up, he didn't think twice and taking a few steps backward, he turned around and headed the other direction. Already having been enough of a nervous wreck already, the thought of having to speak with cats who most likely hated him because of the blood running through his veins made his heart run even faster than normal. 'Please don't look in my direction. Please don't look in my direction,' he prayed with all his might as he began to pick up the pace.

The rise of the sun seemed to increase the sinking boredom Leafpaw felt. She had been stuck in camp since morning, and her paws yearned to climb or hunt, or do something to get her mind off the cold nip of leafbare. Her mentor, Tinystar, was probably busy with leader duties or something, and the apprentice didn't dare bother him, she knew it was probably something important. He's so cool!
The brown tabby's ears pricked as she heard her name ring across the hollow. Spotting a lithe orange tabby, a smile grew on Leafpaw's face. Amberdawn! "Hungry? I'm starving!" The apprentice teased, picking her way over to the young medicine cat. A white pelt flashed by the apprentice's eyes, and she noticed the lanky figure of Sunpaw, walking away from the two. The tom was Tinystar's son, and while Leafpaw respected him in that aspect, it annoyed her how shy the cat could be. "Sunpaw!" Leafpaw purred, determined to break through his antisocial barrier. "Amberdawn and I are going  hunting! Do you wanna come with us? It'll be suuuuper fun! I promise!" Before the white tom could answer, the long-furred brown tabby was nudging him towards the entrance, giving Amberdawn a smile. "We're taking Sunpaw with us!"

Swanpaw crouched by the side of the prey pile, a cold shrew lying between her paws as she stared blankly at it. With a sigh, she closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of the trees as the wind blew through them. It howled faintly, a whooshing whine that grew to a climax and then just faded away.Will I ever have anyone to talk to? The camp around her was so silent, whatever cats who were up and about mostly quiet.
A sudden movement interrupted her thinking, and she opened her eyes to see Amberdawn staring at the fresh-kill pile, a blank look on her face. She watched the other for a moment, her ears twisting back slightly as she opened her mouth- and flinched as the she-cat called across the clearing to Leafpaw, who started padding over. The younger apprentice looked surprisingly cheerful, considering all that was going on, and Swanpaw frowned slightly for a moment before remembering that the other molly hadn't even been born when her father had- had murdered Sparrowpaw (all those moons ago?!).
Pushing her shrew back towards the pile, she sat up, opening her mouth to give a greeting to the other cat. "Hello-!"
She was cut off again by a flash of white as her brother quickly walked away. Leafpaw immediately cornered the poor tom, shoving him towards the camp entrance as she declared that they were going hunting.
Swanpaw found herself standing and practically leaping over towards them, her tail flicking anxiously. "W-wait! Can I come, too?"

(I just suddenly realized this would have been moons after Sparrowpaw's death if Leafpaw was an apprentice....)

Unsurprisingly, Leafpaw was not so concerned about breaking through the silence of camp. The apprentice had always been enthusiastic and chatty. It was part of what Amberdawn loved about her, even if in this instance her voice sounded like the loudest thing she'd ever heard. "Hungry? I'm starving!" she had exclaimed, and in only a few moments the tabby apprentice had come over to her by the fresh-kill pile. Amberdawn opened her mouth to respond when suddenly Leafpaw called, "Sunpaw!"

Mildly startled, Amberdawn turned her head and sure enough spotted Sunpaw, Tinystar's son, walking away with his head down. Almost immediately he had picked up his pace, but Leafpaw meowed after him that they were going hunting and invited him to come.

Amberdawn couldn't help but chuckle at poor Sunpaw's plight as Leafpaw raced after him and cut him off, rounding him back towards the fresh-kill pile and their new impromptu hunting patrol. She gave Sunpaw a sympathetic glance but replied with a purr to Leafpaw, "Alright, that's a good idea!" She then looked at Sunpaw and mewed warmly, "Hi, Sunpaw."

The three of them began making their way towards the camp entrance, one a little less willingly than the others. Amberdawn's ears flicked as another voice called from nearby, "W-wait! Can I come, too?"

The medicine cat apprentice looked to see Swanpaw, a pretty silvery-white she-cat, leaping up from her place at the fresh-kill pile to join them. Amberdawn looked at Sunpaw but replied with a smile, "I don't see why not - I'm not a very good hunter, so it'll be good to have some skilled cats on the patrol."

Of course he wasn't lucky enough to simply walk away from the group of she-cats; that would've been too easy.

Having been shoved back towards Amberdawn and the others, Sunpaw's large ears laid flat against his head and his tail was tucked tightly under his rump. It wasn't that he hated being around other cats, but he just wasn't good at being around them and became a nervous wreck when in groups. He was probably the most quiet, awkward tom in the clan, which made him even more pathetic, seeing as though he was the son of the Leader himself. But, here he was, being forced to go on a patrol. At this point, it would've been extremely rude to leave and there was no other option besides coming up with some lame excuse, which he was horrible at.

Not saying a word as Amberdawn greeted him and spoke, the lean apprentice kept his light amber gaze to his paws. While Leafpaw was loud and very boisterous, part of Sunpaw was drawn to her radiant personality, though he didn't show any sign of such feelings. Of course he had no idea why, but he assumed it was that he somehow found admiration in her confidence, even if she seemed to have a bit too much of it.

"Oh hi Swanpaw!" Leafpaw mewed, flashing the she-cat a large smile. "You should definitely come hunting with us! It'll be really fun!" Not wanting to wait around much longer, the medium-furred brown tabby launched herself from camp, trotting lightly over the frosty earth, head swinging every which way. The branches of the trees clicked together like old friends, whispering tales of stories long gone. Snow birds twittered in the sky, an occasional flutter of wings revealing their presence.
"Hello!!" Leafpaw shouted to the forest, laughing with glee as her voice echoed through the trees. "I think we're going to have a great time today," The apprentice mewed, still unaware of whether or not her friends were following. "The trees are speaking to us, and there's so many birds! Don't you just love hunting?"

The she-cat's eyelids fluttered as she walked, taking in the feeling of the wind, and letting it stir her thoughts. It would be wonderful to spend time with Amberdawn again. And Sunpaw was certainly interesting, I wonder why he's so shy? Swanpaw would certainly be fun to meet. It would be nice to be friends with another she-cat her age. Leafpaw turned around to give the group a big smile, shamelessly displaying her glee on her face.

Swanpaw slowed down to a steady walk, her ears warming slightly in embarrassment as she followed the others, nearly sighing in relief at Amberdawn's ready reply, flashing a grateful smile back. While the older cat was technically her sister, she didn't really know her that well, or even her brother Sunpaw, since he was almost painfully antisocial and kept to himself most of the time. Maybe this is a chance to get to know them better.... Honestly, she would have settled for anything as long as it meant she managed to forge some bonds with her Clanmates.
To her slight surprise, Leafpaw almost immediately turned around, welcoming her with a beaming smile that almost seemed too bright. She smiled back, her thoughts stirring slightly. Leafkit.... The little kit that she had almost immediately grown close to - that little scrap of mute fur who had disappeared one day, never coming back - flitted across her vision in place of the older she-cat. She could almost imagine that was what her sister could have been, would have been, had she not been so sickly. Where are you now, sister? I hope StarClan has kept you safe.... An ache clawed at her chest as she remembered once more her other siblings, Softkit, who had died silently one day, a smile still on his soft face. Even Lambpaw, who hadn't exactly been the nicest cat, hadn't deserved to die as soon as she had. Squeezing her eyes shut as she padded forwards, she heard Leafpaw's call, ringing joyfully through the trees - a happy young cat who hadn't yet lost the wonder, the joy of life. If these things she had dealt with had not crushed her, did she not have the right to be as happy as any of the other apprentices? She mulled over the thought for a moment, a beam of sunlight almost seeming to illuminate her mind in that moment. I... don't have to be sad about those things.... I may remember the happy times we had, but I don't have to live in the past.
Her dull eyes, somehow obscured by a sense of pain she hadn't been able to shake, lit up with a slight spark, almost looking like they had when she was younger. A step forward, and she felt like she had walked out of the hazy past, the pain mostly falling behind. Though she doubted it would ever leave, it seemed somehow... lighter.
A new spring in her step, she padded through the forest, seeing the sunlight beaming through the trees, their deep shadows, with new eyes that appreciated these things even better than they had when she was a kit. The echoing twitter of birds rang through the pine trees, the frost crunched gently beneath her paws. She reveled in the smell of the cold earth, her eyes catching the movement of snowbirds darting between the tree branches as she hopped over a protruding root.
She purred in response to Leafpaw's comments, her heart feeling almost light enough to fly. "Yes. Yes, I do."

Amberdawn tried not to take it too personally when Sunpaw said nothing, keeping his eyes locked to his feet. Sunpaw's reputation as a quiet tom who kept to himself preceded him. Besides, he had shown his disinterest quite clearly, but Amberdawn had learned already how difficult it was to dissuade an excited Leafpaw. If Sunpaw hadn't known before, he was certainly aware now.

Leafpaw eagerly welcomed Swanpaw to join their hunting group, and Amberdawn felt her pelt warm with happiness. It would be nice to get out of camp, especially with Leafpaw's tireless energy and enthusiasm to give them something to think about. The tabby-and-white apprentice declared that it was time to move out, springing towards the entrance as if it were her first day of training all over again. Amberdawn purred despite the still slightly sullen mood in the camp and eagerly followed her friend, the rest of the patrol close behind.

Despite being the oldest cat in the group, Amberdawn was aware that she likely knew the least about hunting and fighting. She was ever more grateful that the four of them had all gone, and she hoped she'd do well enough hunting to make the outing worth it.

After padding along for a short while, Amberdawn looked back to Swanpaw and Sunpaw, asking, "What do you think new-leaf is going to be like? Mintwhisker tells me there will be lots of herbs, and I imagine the prey will come back too." The medicine cat apprentice had been born in leaf-fall and could only imagine what new- and greenleaf might be like.

Following the group of she-cats out of camp and into the brisk winded forest, a shiver was sent up the lean apprentices spine. As expected, Leafpaw and Swanpaw easily began conversing amongst each other, and per usual, he stayed quiet, not wanting to interrupt or get in the way, or simply make a fool of himself even more than he already had in the past moon.

With his head and tail still low, the apprentice's abnormally large ears perked up when Amberdawn asked a question. Now that he thought about it, he'd never really taken the time to imagine what Newleaf would be like. He didn't really care what it brought, as long as it brought some warmth.

"Warm," the tall tom mumbled softly in reply.

Swanpaw, Amberdawn, and Sunpaw caught up with the brown tabby as the four walked beneath the barren trees. Swanpaw's response caught Leafpaw's ear, and she turned her head to give the cat a big grin. There was something different about her, about all of her companions, in fact. Shadows lay behind their eyes, speaking of stories, a burden maybe. But the apprentice couldn't pinpoint it, and all the thinking was hurting her brain. To Leafpaw, Swanpaw would be a friend, just as she viewed all Skyclanners. The tabby's thoughts could be set aside for another day.

Amberdawn's question was certainly interesting, and images danced in Leafpaw's head, thinking of what her namesake, a leaf could possibly look like in its prime. The brown and white tabby opened her mouth to speak, when Sunpaw's small voice echoed first. "Warm."

Leafpaw smiled, giving Sunpaw a grin. The tom's quiet demeanor almost seemed to have an effect on hers. If she talked too loud, whatever Sunpaw spoke would be whisked away in the wind, unable to be heard. It made Leafpaw patient, in a subconscious manner.

"I agree!" The apprentice said in a matter of fact manner, now sure that Sunpaw's monologue was finished. "Tigerleaf said that the trees are covered in leaves! Can you imagine? All of these leaves on the ground...up there!" The she-cat smiled to herself, eyes toward the ground as she tried to step on every fallen leaf. An impulsive game made by an impulsive mind.

Swanpaw glanced upwards as Leafpaw mentioned the trees being covered with leaves come New-leaf. What would that be like...? She tried to imagine them like the pinetrees, covered with green. The effort almost hurt her mind, and she gave up with a faint giggle, the bubbly apprentice's mood catching. "I don't know. It must be wonderful, though...."

Smiling, she stepped between the shadows, flitting from one patch of sunlight to another as she followed the others. A laugh almost seemed to dance between each gentle breeze, a faint symphony of carefree joy caressing her pelt. She smiled with it, letting the wind send her paws dancing between leaves and roots, golden sunlight weaving it all together.

Caught up in the beauty of the moment, her eyes alight, she stopped and turned to her brother, still slinking as far from them as he could get. "The sun is warm, Sunpaw. Can you feel it?" She kneaded her paws into slightly damp ground, inhaling the smell of the forest. "Come on, cats weren't meant to stay in the shadows forever...."

The medicine cat apprentice had thought little of her question when she'd asked it, but she quickly realized it was an interesting conversation piece as the faces of her companions grew momentarily distant with thought. Amberdawn looked expectantly at Leafpaw as she opened her mouth to answer, but Sunpaw was the first to speak, soft and brief: "Warm." Amberdawn purred lightly at his response, thinking back to early leaf-fall as a young medicine cat apprentice. Those days of glowing golden sunshine were distant but familiar and cherished memories. She could only hope that new-leaf would be as warm and pleasant as leaf-fall had been - before the frosts, that is.

Leafpaw seemed satisfied with Sunpaw's simple response and added her enthusiastic agreement, going on to marvel at how all the leaves on the ground would be on the trees instead. Amberdawn looked up with awe, remembering only the tail-end of the transition from green leaves to red and orange and yellow to brown and falling. Imagine how it will look when it's all green! the medicine cat apprentice thought dreamily.

At the brown tabby apprentice's comment, Swanpaw had paused to look at the trees as well. After a quiet moment and then a faint giggle, she said, "I don't know. It must be wonderful, though...." Her voice was wistful, and Amberdawn looked at the pretty silver tabby to see her half-prancing and dancing away into the shadows and among leaves and roots. The golden tabby apprentice laughed, pleased by Swanpaw's whimsy, watching with sparkling eyes as the light she-cat weaved through the forest. She approached her brother, remarking, "The sun is warm, Sunpaw. Can you feel it?"

Though Swanpaw hadn't been speaking to her, Amberdawn turned her face to the sun and lifted her chin. She narrowed her eyes to the light, but her companion was right: the sun was warm.

"Come on, cats weren't meant to stay in the shadows forever...." Swanpaw insisted to her brother, and Amberdawn chuckled lightly. She was right; they needed a balance. Night and day, dusk and dawn, moonhigh and sunhigh, full moon and new moon. Leaf-bare had done its part, but new-leaf would be there soon.

His ears swiveling towards Leafpaw as she agreed with his blunt comment, he quickly had to turn his attention to his sister, who'd chimed in as well. Great StarClan, were all she-cats this chatty all the time?

Simply nodding his head to Swanpaw's question, the tom stayed quiet as the trio padded through the forest with Amberdawn not far behind. What were they patrolling for again? With all of the chit-chat, he'd completely forgotten what they'd even left camp for, but he didn't bother to ask, in hopes of not making himself look like an aloof mousebrain. They could only walk aimlessly for so long, so hopefully one of the she-cats would bring up their goal in the near future.

A quiet silence had settled over the four cats as they padded under the trees. Leafpaw pondered Swanpaw's last words in her head. Cats weren't made to stay in the shadows forever... A small smile graced the apprentice's face. Leafpaw thought Swanpaw was wonderful. She may not be as talkative as herself, but certainly had some good insight. Amberdawn made for a great friend, and Sunpaw was certainly very interesting as well.

"What should we do next?" The she-cat asked no one in particular, allowing her gaze to flick over her friends. The forest swayed around them, and Leafpaw felt excitement creep up her limbs. "We could hunt! Or climb trees! Or play hide and seek!!" The apprentice wondered with a smirk if her denmates knew about how one could hide easily under a pine tree. Amberdawn certainly did.