A Starry Family Reunion(Closed)

Blossomheart almost couldn't wait for this moment, but she hadn't expected it to end like this. She had been itching to do SOMETHING, but she couldn't. It made her sick to her stomach to simply watch it happening, knowing nobody could do a thing about it and all Starclan did was watch with disapproval(of Shadefang, of course. That monster deserved worse than the Dark Forest.). Simply watching as her son was literally being EATEN BEFORE THEIR EYES. If she didn't know better, she would have crows come and slowly eat that- that fox-hearted doggish cannibalistic rogue-scum... there weren't enough insults in the world to describe him!

Blossomheart watched her son do all he could... He would have grown into such a fine warrior. But now here he was, dying. The shecat stood by the Star Oak, amber eyes glittering as Ashpaw's spirit began to shimmer into existence. She stepped forward, proud eyes shining. "Welcome to Starclan." After all he'd been through, he needed the comfort of Starclan's perfection right now.

"Sorry Tigerleaf. I tried, I really did."

Ashpaw's spirit promptly separated from his body. He took one last pitiful look at his crumpled form, laying there in a depressing heap. It was sad, really; so much potential wasted with one single mistake. It wasn't like he could do anything about it; his place was among the stars now. All he could do was hope that Shade would get what was coming to him. That mangy pelted rogue-scum deserved worst that the Dark Forest. Not wishing to delay his departure any longer, the shimmering spirit flew up into the sky to join the stars.

"Welcome to Starclan."

The former Skyclan apprentice looked up towards the familiar voice, his heart swelling at the memories. Blossomheart. His mother, his first friend, the she-cat that coaxed him into the light and told him that he was not invisible. That he actually mattered. He wanted to run to her, bury his face in her fluffy pink fur and inhale the beautiful scent he had come to know over the past few sunrises. But, something held him back. More memories raced back to him. Blossomheart had left him behind. She just..disappeared without a word. Not a goodbye, not anything; just, gone. If she hadn't left, maybe he wouldn't be alone when Shade had come back for him. Maybe he would've gotten over his first encounter with him if she had just stayed with him. Thank Starclan for Tigerleaf, though; he was a mess without her. When she had abandoned him, his friend was there; leaving her behind made a small hole in his chest. Even though it was too late, he wished he had hung on a little longer. She would've found him, taken him back to Skyclan, and stay by his side through it all. Instead, he gave up, the exact opposite of what she had wanted. He had given up because he thought he had no chance of survival. He could have held on longer, even if it were a second or too. He had let himself lose hope and now he had payed the ultimate price.

Mind whirring with these new thoughts, Ashpaw was stuck in place, his breathing heavy and quick as tears slipped down from his eyes and down his starry cheeks, wetting his fur. He glanced around his new surroundings; the starry oak, standing in all its glory with beautiful prairie flowers growing at its roots. Something about the way its leaves swayed in the breeze calmed his mind and lured him near. Without a word to the starry pink she-cat, the white and gray tom stepped past her and pressed his head against the bark, closing his eyes and allowing himself to relax. Pulling himself together, he glanced at Blossomheart from over his shoulder, eyes glossed over with pain as he had to look upon her once more.

"What happened after you left camp that day, Blossomheart? What happened to you?"

Blossomheart had expected him to be happy to see her. And he was, at first. But then grief and pain and regret. Did she do something? His question hit her with a pang. That day she disappeared... should she lie? Or tell him? The truth would hurt... what if she said she was lured away and killed by a rogue? No, that would be almost a full lie. Perhaps if she stretched the truth... yes. One that would not hurt Ashpaw. "I... It's a long story.
Way back when I was still Blossompaw, I met a rogue... She called herself Dryad. She didn't know how to hunt... so I taught her the basics and she was so grateful. She came back, she had been captured by the bad rogues... I felt their influence on her. And then she came a third time. She lured me, lied to me, told me what I wanted to hear... see I felt like Russetpelt didn't care, so what she seemed to be was exactly what I thought I needed. She took me back and made me forget. I had dreams about you and Spiderpaw but forgot again once I awoke. It was despicable and I'm so sorry. And then I just... died. Of a heart attack. And I was so happy to remember again, because I could watch you become a strong warrior. Alas... Since we are here now, that never was allowed to happen." this was more true than lies. Dryad was exactly what she had needed, and she had forgotten and had dreams, only for them to fade in her memory. Dryad didn't lie or lure her, though.

He listened closely at her tale, and immediately felt his breathing quicken again. He pressed himself even closer to the tree as his head began pounding with the knowledge. He could feel tears streaking down his face and staining the ground below his paws. He could feel his heart beating in his chest so hard that it hurt him. Ashpaw's form trembled, his legs buckling and letting him collapse in a pathetic heap on the ground. The tears fell even harder, slipping down his cheeks like roaring rivers. Eventually, his body wracked with loud sobs, his entire fur bristling as he was forced to process what Blossomheart had said. She had left him, left her clan, her duty, for a rogue, of all things. She let the Clan assume she got kidnapped and was killed, she let him assume that she had died a noble death. But, no, she was living leisurely without responsibilities alongside a rogue.

"Y-You mean to tell me, that you left Skyclan, left me for some dumb rogue scum?! The same kind that you watched tear out a piece of my stomach and eat it right in front of you," He was furious at her now, remembering all the bad things that happened to him and shoving the blame onto her. If she hadn't left he might've coped with the incident better. If she hadn't left he wouldn't have gone out alone. If she hadn't left, he would still be alive right now. If she hadn't left, if she hadn't left, the thoughts had his head exploding with pain but he didn't care. He stammered to his paws, his tail lashing and claws unsheathed. Slowly, he stalked towards her, his lips pulled back as he snarled, "Did you not think once in your life that I would not be okay?! I had my eye ripped out, Blossomheart! I was blind!" He was standing in front of her now, staring into her amber eyes. "Maybe, if you had actually bothered to stay, I'd still be alive. You'd still be alive. We'd be happy...we'd.." His voice trailed off as his will died again. There was no point in all these what if's. They were dead, and that was that. Still, he wanted Blossomheart to feel guilty for all this. It would oddly give him..some kind of peace. She deserved it, anyway. It was all her fault.

"I..I hope your life with that rogue was a happy one," Ashpaw's voice cracked, and he took a moment to compose himself, "Because the rest of mine wasn't." With that said, the former Skyclan apprentice lashed his tail and padded back to the comfort of the Star Oak, pressing his head against the cool bark to relax himself again. He didn't want to deal with this right now; all he wanted to do was be alone.

"Ashpaw..." She whispered.

Starclan was usually a place of forgiveness and happiness. But right now... She felt guilty for her whole life. Staring at her paws, Blossomheart sat down. "I didn't want to hurt you but I was greiving, Ashpaw. I was recovering from a heart attack from which my mate didn't seem to care and... my real thoughts were that my family would be better off without me. I didn't want to turn you into a killer like Hazelpaw or something worse. And I'd have lived no longer. My days were clouded until I no longer knew how you get home and then... once my head was clear... I couldn't get back, Ashpaw. I had been having heart troubles all over the place. I don't think even Mintwhisker could save me if she tried. I'm truly sorry, Ashpaw... I don't even think all of Starclan wants me here. I've seen some of the stricter ones give me dirty looks. Looks like you are one of them. So if you want me to go there, Starclan cats can cross the border to the Place of No Stars. If you really think I shouldn't be frolicking in Starclan with my family, I can cross... if it would make you happy again. That's all I've really wanted while my thoughts were clear. I thought I could make it back to Skyclan, I really did." This was the truth. Her son had only suffered sadness and pain since she had left with that rogue, and his happiness was all that mattered right now. Not her own. Yes, that was what she had learned while away. Family... She didn't have any out there. Only Dryad, who was a rogue for Starclan's sake! She had come to know true loneliness at the very end. Nobody had seen her die. No cat had seen her corpse, only dogs. Ashpaw was going to be found very soon. How his clan mates would greive... especially Tigerleaf. Ah, yes. That had been a friend back as apprentices.

"Stop talking," He murmured, pressing his head a little harder against the Star Oak as his head started hurting again, "Please, please stop.."

Ashpaw could feel his heart rupturing from within his chest. It was beginning to become too much for his mind to handle. The Star Oak wouldn't be able to comfort him forever and..and he didn't want to get beyond that sort of comfort. He didn't want eternal suffering in a place that was meant for peace. He desperately wanted to forgive and move on but he just couldn't. They were in this mess because she had left him for some rogue. He was a mess when she didn't come back home that fay. An absolute mess of his former self. Shade had torn him apart once; Blossomheart abandoning him did it a second time. He could feel himself shaking again, and new tears wet his cheeks. Starclan, end this madness! Ashpaw tried to stifle his cries but ended up choking instead. He wanted to run back to her but his paws refused to carry him. No, his heart refused to carry him. He couldn't forgive her for this. He wouldn't forgive her for this. But, if he didn't, his eternity in Starclan might not be a happy one. Her's wouldn't be a happy one either. He had to..he needed to if he wanted to save her and himself.

Mentally preparing himself, Ashpaw quieted and focused on the Star Oak. How its glorious branches danced in the soft breeze. The smoothness of the bark that brought him tranquility when he thought he would've exploded. The prairie flowers at its roots, bringing beautiful colors to the already perfect place. Now slightly calmer than before, the white and gray tom turned around to face the mess he created. A part of him wanted to turn around and forget, let guilt eat away at her until she realized she had nothing left. But, that would mean he would also have nothing. Blossomheart and Togerleaf were his everything, and Tigerleaf wouldn't be joining any time soon. All he had now was Blossomheart, the cat he hated the most as of right now. The cat that ruined his life with one decision. Still, she was all he had. His only family..

Taking a slow, deep breath, he made slow steps towards her. The closer he got, the more painful his headache became. His head was threatening to burst with all these thoughts going through it, the pain beginning to get unbearable. Half-way there he stopped and considered turning back. He didn't want to forgive yet. He wasn't ready. But the longer he waited, the more broken the two cats would get. So he continued on with each painful step, gritting his teeth as agony consumed him. Finally, he reached her. His legs felt like they were about to give out underneath him. He opened his mouth to apologize, say something, but the only thing that came out was a strangled, heartbroken cry. Immediately, he buried his face in Blossomheart's fur and cried, just like he used to. He clung to her with his claws and sobbed out his relief and pain, every emotion that was swirling inside of him.

"If you ever leave me again, so help me, I'll chase you to the Dark Forest myself," He wasn't sure if he really meant that. It was the least of his worries right now, anyway. He just wanted Blossomheart to hold him and refer to him as her son and love him unconditionally again. He just wanted all that back.

Blossomheart closed her eyes as her own tears ran as well as his. "I just don't know what to do. Please, son, tell me how to make you happy again." Her voice began to crack. What if she couldn't do it? She was only so strong, how could she stay strong? How could she have thought that she could take the weight of all this? Maybe someone else should have greeted him. "It hurts me to see you like this... I just want to protect my family. But I'm naive and too trusting and I don't make good decisions. That's why I needed my family... But we weren't that close and the ones I did have abandoned me. See, son, I rely on my family. And if they don't care... I'm not myself. And I overreacted and I'm sorry and I know I can't make it up to you." Both mother and son were crying at this point. Dear Starclan, she had made some bad mistakes.

"But you have made it up by being here now," Ashpaw choked out the words, though they were muffled by Blossomheart's abundance of pink fur, "You are here for me now and that's all that matters." His head felt as if it were going to explode any second now. Desperate, he inhaled his mother's scent, trying to calm down the overload of emotions threatening to rupture through his skull. After a few moments of deep breathing, the pounding dulled to a gentle ache. He elet out a sigh of relief, relaxing into their embrace. They would be okay as long as he kept his cool. He had already damaged the former Skyclan warrior enough; he could hear her voice cracking and feel starlit tears wetting his head. All they needed right now was a moment of quiet to slowly repair their wilting bond, so they could be stronger than ever before.

Moments passed, and he remained silent, allowing his headache to fade almost completely. He looked up at Blossomheart and noticed her tears, which broke his heart. He regretted asking what happened to her. He knew he was going to cause her great hurt and yet...he did it anyway. He felt so inconsiderate..Ashpaw blinked a few times before lapping at her cheeks, licking her tears away, like she had done to him so many moons ago.

Blossomheart blinked to make the tears stop. "Thank you..." They were together, mother and son, for the rest of eternity. No more leaving. The shecat threw her arms around him, shutting her eyes tight, and beginning to cry again, but this time tears of joy. "I promise, Ashpaw, you'll never feel sad again if I can help it!" She exclaimed.

The white and gray Starclan cat purred contentedly as Blossomheart wrapped her arms around him, surrounding him with warmth and comfort of love, the exact thing he needed right now. His headache dissipated completely as he relaxed into the embrace, allowing himself to drown in her scent. He had missed her smell; the more he realized that she wasn't coming back, the more he forgot about it. But here he was, nuzzling into her fur, inhaling her scent like he'd never get the chance again.

"Mother,"  The word was unfamiliar on his tongue, yet he already adored it. So foreign, meant to be used delicately and with catd that only truly deserved it. As he took another look into Blossomheart's loving amber eyes, and he knew he had made the right choice. She deserved to know how much he truly cherished her. "Mother, I love you. Never leave me again. Please. I'd be a mess. I-I.." His voice cracked with raw emotion and he immediately pressed his muzzle into her fur, calming the flood of emotions that were attempting to resurface.

Blossomheart nodded, his emotion leaking into her own voice. "I love you too. And I swear I will never leave you ever again."