Warrior Clan Cats

The future's in your paws. Shape it well.

Roleplay in a cat Clan of warriors. Based off the Warriors series by Erin Hunter. Takes place in an AU before the cats in the books existed.
 
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 Mending Mistakes [Close]

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Wolfos

Wolfos


Characters : Chillpaw, Emberkit, Wolfpaw
Leo Pig
Number of posts : 62
Age : 28

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PostSubject: Mending Mistakes [Close]   Mending Mistakes [Close] EmptyFri 27 Apr 2018 - 2:06

Chillpaw returned to the medicine cat den. This was part of their agreement after his misadventures as a kit in said den. Still, he found that he enjoyed helping with tidying things in the place. He entered the den quietly as he always did. Flowing in his movements, in a way that was like water. He never moved mechanically, but it became more refined as he got older. He had been doing this for a while so he just went through his routine.

First, he went over to the nests and tidied them up. Adding extra to each one so they were all a little more cushioned and warm. Next was time to separate the medicinal herbs into their piles and make sure none of them had gone bad. Calmly he went through the motions, making sure not to mix any and that they were all stocked properly. This was originally a punishment from the medicine cat, Goldeneye. At first, Chillpaw was just a kit, and most would have thought a kit would hate this kind of work since they normally just wanted to play, but Chillpaw wasn't that kind of kit. He enjoyed exploring and learning and feeding his curiosity. This work was something he came to look forward to. It was calm and while he did his routine he could just exist within himself and think. At the moment, there wasn't much to think on. He wondered where Goldeneye was though, it had been so long since he had seen the medicine cat. He never really feared her, though he is sure that she tried to be fearful when she first met him. He had trashed the place and it was understandable to be mad. He hoped by now he had somewhat made things up to her.
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PostSubject: Re: Mending Mistakes [Close]   Mending Mistakes [Close] EmptyFri 27 Apr 2018 - 2:29

It was a welcome sight to see Chillpaw doing his normal routine, it gave the young medicine cat a welcome moment for some piece of mind. It had been rough for her, Cloudstone retiring, Adderpaw and Smokewish losing one of their eyes. It had been a bloody start to new-leaf that was for certain. Though... Chillpaw no longer needed to continue the punishment she had bestowed upon him, Mosspaw had certainly stopped when he was able, so why not this apprentice? "You know... you don't have to continue working here anymore." Goldeneye meowed, uncertainty almost leaking into her voice.

Goldeneye made her way to her main nest where Cloudstone used to rest, it was frightfully lonely without her old mentor with her in the den. She missed his snoring. Flopping down the she-cat stretched out, her joints cracking and a pleasured groan pulling itself from her jaw as she relaxed and began to groom her paws, drawing them over scarred ears.
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Wolfos

Wolfos


Characters : Chillpaw, Emberkit, Wolfpaw
Leo Pig
Number of posts : 62
Age : 28

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PostSubject: Re: Mending Mistakes [Close]   Mending Mistakes [Close] EmptyFri 27 Apr 2018 - 2:46

Chillpaw twitched his ear in Goldeneye's direction as she addressed him. Then, while still straightening the piles of medicinal herbs he cast one eye gently and calmly over to see her from the corner of his vision, not yet fully resting his uneven gaze on her as he spoke, "I know I don't have to continue anymore, but I still choose to. I made a mess of this den once, and I may have fulfilled your conditions, but I have my own want to repay what I did. Also, it gives me time to think and be in my own head. I enjoy being able to help and think calmly at the same time."

Chillpaw just finishing with his straightening of the pile he was on turned his full attention to Goldeneye. His eyes shone his happiness just having finished with half the piles, "If you wouldn't mind, I enjoy this work and would love to continue it. May I continue to help you here as I have been?" His tone didn't give much away to his enthusiasm, but he had been around Goldeneye enough that he hoped she knew to read his eyes more than anything. That mismatched gaze was his true expression. Right now he could feel the glow of calm happiness emanating from his own eyes. Not everyone could read him, but those who spent enough time with him could learn to.

Chillpaw thought for a moment. He figured now was as good a time as any to clarify if this was alright. Better to not assume he could keep doing this when it was being questioned as to why he was when he could have stopped. Plus, he wasn't even a medicine cat apprentice. "If you truly would wish me to stop, then I will." Then again, one did not exist at the time so with only one medicine cat now he thought it might help.
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PostSubject: Re: Mending Mistakes [Close]   Mending Mistakes [Close] EmptyFri 27 Apr 2018 - 3:00

Goldeneye propped her front paws under her so she could look at Chillpaw properly, all she could see was honesty and happiness in his gaze, in his tone, it was nice. "No, it's quite alright if you want to continue, though I find it odd that you enjoy this. I'd expect you to be leaping for joy for some time to train and have fun." Goldeneye gave the young tom a soft smile, the wind rustled the reeds and lichen that embroidered the entrance to her den. Annoyance suddenly clouded the medicine cats gaze as she looked at it, the voices of her ancestors humming and reaching a much louder tone than they usually reached.

She could hear them so much clearer with the lack of background noise, no longer was it easy to tune them out. Goldeneye grit her teeth. She wished that she was gifted with the skill to think clearly without any noise to bother her, it was something that she hoped that Chillpaw would never know the curse of constant noise. "That is good. A clear head without any noise to bother you is a gift to be treasured and appreciated." Goldeneye meowed, her voice hard. Once the noise died away a bit, the she-cats features softened before she resumed to grooming, this time she worked steadily at her belly fur, careful of the massive scars that riddled her belly.
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Wolfos

Wolfos


Characters : Chillpaw, Emberkit, Wolfpaw
Leo Pig
Number of posts : 62
Age : 28

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PostSubject: Re: Mending Mistakes [Close]   Mending Mistakes [Close] EmptyFri 27 Apr 2018 - 3:09

Chillpaw had never noticed the scars on Goldeneye's belly. His gaze took a more distant and curious appearance, still tinged with happiness at being here, "I find fun in different things than most. Calm can be fun when you get to think and get lost in your mind. At the same time, learning is fun too."

There it was again, his urge to gain knowledge. He found himself voicing his question before even being able to think it through "Goldeneye.... may I ask how you got those scars?" His curiosity was sometimes a beast, something he found hard to control. He asked many questions and even some that made people upset or uncomfortable, "I don't mean to ask of things that aren't my business or to ask unwanted or uncomfortable questions....." An apologetic gaze consumed his eyes after voicing the question, but he still didn't actually regret it because he really did want to know. "I just... I find curiosity in life and in others experiences. In learning about new things or new things about people I already know. Did you used to be a warrior?" Chillpaw realized he didn't know much about Goldeneye's past or who she had been before she became a medicine cat.
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PostSubject: Re: Mending Mistakes [Close]   Mending Mistakes [Close] EmptyFri 27 Apr 2018 - 3:19

"No... I've always been a medicine cat. It's fine to be curious, Chillpaw, it's admirable. I got my scars when I was still an apprentice myself, it was leaf-bare and I had found some catnip on a tricky ledge on the gorge. I was met there by Windclan apprentice who approached me aggressively. She attacked me and almost ripped open my belly. Jaystream found me bleeding out on that ledge if it wasn't for him or Cloudstone I would be dead." Goldeneye meowed, her voice growing solemn as she spoke. It was a harsh memory though not so much for her, she knew just how horribly it haunted Jaystream.

"I'm not angry at that apprentice, she was only doing what was best for her clan, even if it meant nearly killing me for a couple of extremely valuable herbs." Goldeneye looked at Chillpaw, her gaze hard. "The world is dangerous, even for medicine cats. I'd tread with caution." She looked away again, a soft smile on her maw this time. "Jaystream has been teaching me to defend myself since then, I'd like to say I'd make a great warrior had it not been Starclans will that I would be a medicine cat."
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Wolfos

Wolfos


Characters : Chillpaw, Emberkit, Wolfpaw
Leo Pig
Number of posts : 62
Age : 28

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PostSubject: Re: Mending Mistakes [Close]   Mending Mistakes [Close] EmptyFri 27 Apr 2018 - 3:36

Chillpaw considered all she had said. He knew the world could be harsh, he had to be adopted just to have a family after all. "I always try to be cautious, though my actions as a kit here didn't show it." As he spoke the last part a small laugh entered his voice, which was extremely rare that his expression went beyond his eyes.

His gaze became an odd mix of caring and hard. A sort of softness that was still firm as he spoke next. "I wonder about my own place sometimes. I know that most look forward just to being a warrior, but sometimes I have to stop and ask myself if that is the right path and place for me." Chillpaw moved to keep working on the piles as he continued to speak, "I mean, I enjoy learning over battling. I am not saying I won't fight, but.... I just don't enjoy it all that much as a thought. Granted that may change in my first battle. I don't have enough to go off of there. What I can say is that I don't think like others do about it. I would rather never have a fight in my life, and just help others. There are other important ways to help the clan besides fighting. Also, I worry that my own caution may slow me down in battle since I prefer to think more thoroughly. I fear that if I don't act quickly, I may cost myself of another limb or life. I don't want to live with that on my conscious."

Chillpaw kept his work going, he was nearly done with all the piles now. He stopped to turn to Goldeneye before the last pile. "Honestly, if I had a choice I would find a way to not become a warrior. I don't want to jeopardize a battle by being too cautious and let somebody else get harmed by my inability to act without thinking. If I were there when you were attacked, I can't say I would have acted quickly enough to stop you receiving those scars. Not to say I am afraid to fight or that I don't care what happens to others when I am with them and a battle erupts. It's more so I want to be mostly certain of the outcome of my actions, and if there is too much uncertainty I will wait for a better moment. It might seem cold, but it's the truth."
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PostSubject: Re: Mending Mistakes [Close]   Mending Mistakes [Close] EmptyFri 27 Apr 2018 - 11:52

"It sounds to me that what you seek is the path of a medicine cat, young Chillpaw." Goldeneye meowed, her eyes boring into Chillpaws as she stood and strode over. "You say you wish for time to think though, but being a medicine cat does not always mean we have time to think. There will be times where one of your clan-mates or a loved one will be bleeding out on the floor in front of you and you won't be able to process what kind of polituce you need to give them and if you could afford the risk of blood loss." Goldeneye's voice was starting to rise as she set up a situation for Chillpaw.

"Your clan-mate is missing their eye and is losing blood fast, would you give them a polituce to prevent infection but run the risk of losing them because of the time it took to make it? Or would you run a high risk them getting their eye infected and lose them that way regardless if you get the copious amounts of blood gushing out of their face under control?" Goldeneye asked, practically looming over the tom. "Being a medicine cat is not as easy as you think. While cats think during battle is the worst of war, I argue that it is the aftermath that is the most psychologically draining. Would you be able to bear that burden, alone if need be? You are the one to heal the clan, there will be no one to heal you but yourself." Goldeneye asked, backing away just slightly as she realized how close she has gotten.

"You'll be alone to bare your burden as the clan's healer. They will ask much of you and they will never stop that, you are a pawn, that is it. No cat will be there when you fall so you better make sure that you can get yourself up. It takes cats even stronger than warriors to be a medicine cat." Turning away from Chillpaw, she eyed his work approvingly before placing the finished bundles away. "I appreciate your work here, along with your honesty and wisdom but I will not be taking on an apprentice at this time. Cloudstones departure is still too raw of a wound for me. If I took you on as an apprentice, my departure would hurt just the same. I'm not ready for that burden just yet." Goldeneye softly pressed her nose to the apprentice's head as she looked around her large and lonely den, in which she called home.

"You must learn to control your feelings unless you wish to kill yourself from the inside out. Watching your clan-mates on their deathbeds while you can do nothing to stop it but ease their travels to Starclans hunting grounds." Goldeneye padded back to her nest, easing herself gently back into the nest, her golden eyes still on Chillpaw as she waited for the apprentices response.
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Wolfos

Wolfos


Characters : Chillpaw, Emberkit, Wolfpaw
Leo Pig
Number of posts : 62
Age : 28

Mending Mistakes [Close] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Mending Mistakes [Close]   Mending Mistakes [Close] EmptyFri 27 Apr 2018 - 19:33

Chillpaw considered all that Goldeneye had said. He enjoyed the new perspective. "I never truly thought of specifics as in medicine cat, or any other role. I only worried that my clanmates might be endangered by my potential inability to act quickly in battle. However, I never thought that being a medicine cat was perfect or easy necessarily. I knew you dealt with wounded and dying, but I also see more benefits than that of a warrior, such as seeing new life entering the world. However, this means I would never be able to have my own kits. I guess I am still debating."

Chillpaw started thinking to himself for a moment, lost in a deep gaze that seemed to penetrate all straight into his mind, not focusing on anything physical. "I thank you for the insight. This has given me new perspectives to think about and consider. Each role in life has situations where you may not have time to think, and may make the wrong choices. I see that more clearly than I did before." Chillpaw's gaze entered the physical world again as he met Goldeneye's gaze. "I believe that I will have to adjust no matter the role I get in life. And there are new things to consider. I feel like there are ups and downs everywhere. However, what may be an upside to one cat can easily be a downside to another." Chillpaw looked around the neat den that had been fully cleaned and organized and he actually let a small smile of satisfaction appear on his face.

A new curiosity was eating at him though. One that he was even more wary of asking than the scars. He looked to Goldeneye hesitantly, "Goldeneye.... have you ever regretted being a medicine cat for any reason?" He paused with the second half of the question still hanging in the air, obvious that he was holding part back in his expression, but not quite ready to give that second half yet.
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PostSubject: Re: Mending Mistakes [Close]   Mending Mistakes [Close] EmptyFri 27 Apr 2018 - 21:58

Goldeneye blinked in surprise when Chillpaw asked her if she regretted becoming a medicine cat, how could she regret something she had no choice in? "No. I was picked by Starclan themselves, I suspect it's because every day I hear them. I can feel them all around us, they give me aide when I need it. They're certainly more annoying than helpful though. They constantly bicker and gossip wherever I go." Goldeneye meowed, looking to her dens ceiling. "I cannot regret something when I had no choice, to begin with." She meowed.

"I'm a very skilled medicine cat even for my youth. I was destined to be what I am today because of how easily I learn, I was saving lives almost immediately. Saved a cat from slipping into a coma." Goldeneye boasted just a little bit. "Though in my early moons, Starclan helped me quite a bit. Using the wind to help me select just what I needed." Goldeneye chuckled her mood lightening just a bit before returning to her normal neutral tone.

"I can see you have something else on your mind, Chillpaw. You are very easy to read." Goldeneye meowed, her head tilting and scarred ears flicking.
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Wolfos

Wolfos


Characters : Chillpaw, Emberkit, Wolfpaw
Leo Pig
Number of posts : 62
Age : 28

Mending Mistakes [Close] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Mending Mistakes [Close]   Mending Mistakes [Close] EmptyFri 27 Apr 2018 - 22:13

Chillpaw had half his answer, and in a way he felt that what he had heard answered the second question already. He thought for a moment before spitting it out finally, "It takes time to read me as well as you can. Most cannot. Only those I spend enough time with to get that privilege can usually." Chillpaw let his eyes show his emotions fully. A conflict battling within himself he never knew he would have to face.

After a few moments of that conflict playing out in his eyes and his mind he let his second question loose, "I understand you had no choice. I guess my first question wasn't so much regret, as do you ever find yourself wishing that you had a choice, and if you did would it have been different? My main point in this was over a specific.... restriction. You cannot have kits ever, correct?" Chillpaw never thought he would be asking this question, "I guess what I am trying to get at is... do you ever wish you could have kits as you help bring them into the world? Do you ever miss that part of life?"

Chillpaw usually was much more composed, but at this moment he let shine through a deeper worry he had never exposed. Something he had deep within him as an underlying issue. He didn't let the full burden of it slip past his lips, but he was sure with how well Goldeneye knew him by now and could read him there would be no use trying to hide it. He let his guard down and bared all the weight that this question bore him. Something he never let happen. This was a burden he tried to avoid thinking about, because he could never find the answer for himself. Well, it might finally be time to let somebody else in on this weight and to see if they could help him overcome his own mind.
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PostSubject: Re: Mending Mistakes [Close]   Mending Mistakes [Close] EmptyFri 27 Apr 2018 - 22:40

"If I had a choice, it wouldn't have much impact. Starclan would not have called for me to be Cloudstones apprentice, and I would have traveled the very same path you're traveling now. I would certainly love to mother kits, and in a way, I have already. I acted as a parental figure to Jaystreams and Cinderpaws litter of ten when Cinderpaw died from labor complications, I suckled them when they were just newborns, too weak to make the short trip on the coldest night of leaf-bare. I handed them off to Tinytip and Splashwillow, keeping them in my den under my supervision when both of them were unable." Goldeneye meowed truthfully, though it was no secret.

"If I could. I would love to mother my own kits one day, but as a medicine cat, I must not. It will have to be enough to watch new and old mothers bring kits in the world, I cannot put my desires before my clan after all" Goldeneye looked almost wistful. If she could, she would move Starclan and Riverclan to even show her love for Jaystream. To embrace him in her den at quiet times, to bask in camp while sharing tongues and sharing prey. To do anything beyond a normal, platonic relationship.
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Wolfos

Wolfos


Characters : Chillpaw, Emberkit, Wolfpaw
Leo Pig
Number of posts : 62
Age : 28

Mending Mistakes [Close] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Mending Mistakes [Close]   Mending Mistakes [Close] EmptyFri 27 Apr 2018 - 23:34

Chillpaw sat quietly after her response. He thought for a moment before speaking, "You know that I never knew my real parents. You know I was adopted, but not early enough to forget it. I guess what is eating at me is.... I don't know if I even want kits. I mean, I am not saying I don't, but there is an underlying fear that maybe I shouldn't? Because of my early life circumstances, maybe it would be a mistake to have them myself. Plus I haven't found a she-cat that I am interested in up to this point." Chillpaw was trying to be careful with his words, to be absolutely certain that he got to convey what he truly felt and meant.

"I mean.... I just don't know if I could be a good father. I don't have bad adoptive parents, but I also just don't know if I can fully take on that kind of responsibility knowing that a kit I have could end up without parents if something happened to me." Chillpaw had worried about this from time to time as he heard of new kits being born. That maybe they would end up like him, and not be quite so lucky as he was to be adopted into a family. He was afraid to be the one leaving them behind to chance if he were to die before their birth, or shortly after.
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