A Falcon Flies too Near the Burning Embers

Emberpaw was creeping as quietly as he could through the territory, hoping not to be followed--he had been out on a normal patrol (his first, in fact), but he couldn't shake the annoying sensation of being watched. He felt as though every cat on the patrol was keeping their eyes on him, watching him much more carefully than they would watch any other apprentice. It seemed as though warriors were constantly either trying to look after him or looking down on him, and he hated it. He was desperate to prove that he could be self-sufficient, just like any other apprentice. His lack of sight didn't effect his ability to fight, or hunt, or patrol borders--it only meant that he had to try harder, and he was constantly putting in all of his effort. They just needed to trust him. So, he had decided to sneak off--he would go to the Thunderclan border, refresh the markers, and then return to the patrol.
The problem was that this was much easier said than done--he didn't know what Thunderclan smelled like, so getting to the border was proving to be much more difficult than he thought. Not to mention that SkyClan territory wasn't exactly friendly to the blind, as he kept stumbling over rocks and at one point even ran straight into a rock that jutter from the earth. Plus, though their territory had trees, they were far apart, and there wasn't much underbrush. and Emberpaw couldn't really tell if he was hidden or not. Still, he persisted, until finally, he picked up a strange scent--it smelled different from SkyClan scent, and was more... Earthy. Thunderclan! He began moving more quickly towards the border, until finally, SkyClan and Thunderclan scents seemed to be mixed together. The border, it seemed, hadn't been refreshed in some time, and Emberpaw couldn't quite make out where it actually was. Frustrated, but determined nonetheless, he began trying to find a point where one scent or the other was stronger, so he would know where to mark. He tried to do so discreetly, but he still felt exposed, even in the slightly thicker undergrowth.

Nervously, Falconpaw split from his own patrol, his sides rose and fell harshly after he finished sprinting away from the others. The hunt was difficult for him and through his own fault, he had made a bloody kill. Blood made him so intensely sick, he hated it so much. Tripping over a root, he tumbled onto the ground on the border and scrambled back up to his paws when he spotted Emberpaw. Scraping the ground with his now dirt clogged claws, he peered over to the SkyClan cat. His eyes flickered nervously but, the other was interesting, his coat was strange and his movements were oddly cautious as it constantly walking on thin ice. Leaping onto the tree, he scratched the bark in thought. "A-are you a-a SkyClan c-cat?" The skinny apprentice asked with his horrendous stuttering.

Emberpaw jumped at the sound of another cat nearvy--it sounded like they had jumped, but their claws scraped wood, not earth. He unsheathed his own claws, as well, and stood up straight, trying to make himself appear larger and more confident than he actually was. His ears swiveled towards the voice, and he turned his head in the direction it had come from, his unseeing eyes unfocused but narrowed, as if in accusation. "Yes, who are you?" He meowed; his voice came out tough, but with just the tiniest bit of hesitation underneath, nearly faltering at the end, "You're nearly on our territory, I'd be careful if I was you."

Falconpaw shuffled and cleared his throat uncomfortably, "I-i don't h-have a reason t-to cross, I wo-wouldn't do that." He said hastily, he was easily intimidated and Emberpaw was doing a fine job at it. He had nearly forgotten the earlier part of the conversation, "I-i'm uh.. F-Falconpaw." He voiced peaked and broke, making his fur hot with embarrassment. "Y-you are?" He meowed quietly, finding himself looking at the other's copper colored eyes with interest. He had never seen such a thing before, the ring and all, even the dilated eyes. Not in the peak of sunhigh. "I-i like y-your eyes.. uh.." he bit his tongue and scolded himself. That was stupid and blunt, it was articulate at all. He couldn't do a thing right, could he..

Emberpaw was a bit confused by Falconpaw's words--his eyes? He, of course, had no idea what his eyes looked like, and his mind immediately jumped to being defensive. "Are you making fun of me?" He bristled, "I may be blind but I can take you, you know!" Of course, it did cross his mind that the Thunderclan cat wasn't trying to pick a fight, but his temper tended to get ahead of him. He made an effort to smooth his fur and calm down a bit. "I'm Emberpaw." He added, though it sounded a bit grudging. He had his ears pricked, listening for any movement from Falconpaw that would indicate he was being attacked. However, he picked up nothing but the sounds of the forest (which was a relief, he had been half afraid of hearing his clan-mates approach).

"W-what? Oh! Ugh... I-i'm so s-sorry.. I-i didn't know." he mentally kicked himself, stupid stupid stupid. "It was a-a c-compliment..." The part about taking him made him huff. "Y-yeah, anyone can.." he said mostly to himself, maybe this was mistake. He couldn't even compliment properly, he should have just stayed hidden in that drainage pipe when Rockthorn killed his mother. He didn't belong here to begin with. He situated himself with looking at the burst of orange along the other's neck, even a blind cat had a better appearance when meeting others, Falconpaw's pelt would look bad and dull if 'StarClan' lived in it. "Maybe i-i should just.. go.." he mumbled to himself just before a crow swooped down and flew loudly​ right over his head, scaring him. He jumped and fell off the fallen tree with an 'oof' and a thud.

Emberpaw flattened his ears, bit embarrassed--he was really trying to be more polite, but he was so defensive and prickly that he was often rude without intending to be. And from the sound of it, in this case, he had hurt Falonpaw's feelings without really meaning to... He reasoned that Falconpaw was in another clan, so he shouldn't really care all that much, but that reasoning just didn't quite make sense to him. "Oh... Well, thanks." He mewed, in a calmer tone; he knew he ought to apologize, but it was then that he heard the rush of feathers, followed by a thud and a surprised noise from Falconpaw, before he could say anything else. "Hey, are you okay?" He mewed, his expression changing to one of worry--he quickly walked forward, getting as close as he dared, given that he wasn't really sure how far away Falconpaw was. He had no idea what Falconpaw had fallen off of, and therefore, wasn't really sure how far he had fallen.

"I-ive felt worse." He mumbled to the dirt, "Umm.." he struggled to make an interesting conversation, especially with a car he had just insulted because he was stupid with his word choice or something. "I-is it hard? B-being blind ad all? Wait.. you w-wouldn't know the difference.. that w-was stupid. Ah.." he shook his head, trotting closer by a fox-length for Emberpaw to hear him better and to make it less painfully awkward. "S-sorry. I'm not g-good with this.. or, a-anything." He sighed. "It's j-just interesting I g-guess." He peered at the other's face, "Y-you must get tired o-of stupid questions l-like that.. I must s-sound like a kitten- k-kit.." he corrected his terminology quickly.

Emberpaw was finding himself slowly being more intrigued, and less annoyed, by Falconpaw--no one had ever asked him if it was hard to be blind before. In fact, most cats seemed to avoid bringing up his blindness, as though it was a taboo subject and they were trying to avoid hurting his feelings. Emberpaw was tougher than that, though--he didn't need other cats constantly protecting his feelings, just like he didn't need them looking out for his mental well-being. He liked that Falconpaw was being so blunt, although he did seem to regret it a moment later. "It's only hard because of how everyone treats me." He mewed, shrugging his shoulders a bit, "Everyone thinks they need to protect me, it's so annoying. One of these days, I'm going to show them what I'm made of, and they'll stop treating me like I'm helpless. And... It's okay. No one's ever really asked me anything like that."

"Oh, r-really? I-I kinda k-know how you feel. Though, I m-might actually need it.. I feel l-like it's j-just empty p-pity. They d-don't really care b-but they want to look g-good​." He shuffled his paws, "I'm s-suprised no one asks i-if they are so protective." He thought about it, "D-do you have friends?" He meowed, surely if he had a protective circle, he had friends too. "N-not that I assumed y-you wouldn't!" He added quickly. He gave his messy chest fur a quick lick, glancing around nervously. "M-maybe you c-can tell someone h-how you feel about it all."

Emberpaw's ears pricked up a bit--he seemed interested as Falconpaw spoke. Finally, someone who understood where he was coming from! Falconpaw was probably right, a lot of cats probably acted all concerned just for the sake of their reputation. Even though Falconpaw could see, he seemed to understand a lot more than anyone else (usually if he complained about these kinds of things, he would be told that his clan mates 'meant well' or that he should be more grateful to have others looking out for him). "You're right," he agreed, nodding, "sorry you have the same problem, though. And not really, I did when I was a kit, but when we became apprentices they just kind of stopped playing with me like they used to." Falconpaw, in Emberpaw's opinion, would make a much better friend than any apprentices in his own clan--so why does he have to be in ThunderClan? He thought, frustrated.

"I-I cause t-too many conflicts j-just existing, I-I don't t-think I can say I have any either.. B-besides I-i have to e-earn my place, pity only g-gets you so f-far y'know? I-I am far from the model apprentice, r-really far.. I-Its embarrassingly bad." He said, clearing his throat uncomfortably. Was he complaining too much? Why did he even care? He probably wouldn't get another chance like this, someone actually noticing him. He hadn't messed it up, gotten them nearly murdered, murdered or nearly exiled yet. Was this his chance?

Emberpaw tilted his head, wondering what sort of conflict Falconpaw was referring to, and wondering why he thought he wasn't a very good apprentice. He sat down, having forgotten about the patrol he was meant to be with. "Well, maybe if you just forget about everyone else, you could put all your energy into training and stuff." He suggested, "You don't need anyone else's pity, or their help. Anyone can be great, you just have to want it and be willing to work towards it." Emberpaw thought about his own desire to prove himself, how much he was willing to do to achieve that, and wondered if Falconpaw felt that way, too, even if it was buried underneath a layer of self-doubt.

"Gre-great? Me? An a-apprentice with a fear of b-b-blood won't get f-far here. I g-get sick when I see the freshkill pile." He said, as always, sharing information a cat who didn't feel as if each word could be the last would share. He didn't know when another cat would return the concern or struggle. "Y-you'll probably go far, I m-might be normal eventually." He sighed, why did he have to complain about his problems so much? He wasn't starved to death like Rockthorn said he'd be it he hadn't killed his mother. Hawkpaw was doing just fine. Blizzardshine had to be bothered by him as well. This cat was blind with no one to understand his struggles.

Emberpaw searched his brain, trying to find the right words to convey his thoughts to Falconpaw--he didn't really know what it was like to struggle so much with self-doubt. Though he would never admit it, Emberpaw did fear, at times, that he would never be able to be a great warrior, but he always forcefully stomped out those thoughts by working twice as hard. He spent as much time as he possibly could training, even when Cloverleaf wasn't around to teach him new things. He truly did believe he could be great if he only worked hard enough at it, and he believed the same thing of Falconpaw--he only wished he knew how to instill some of that confidence in him. "Well, maybe you're right." He said suddenly, "You'll never be great with that attitude! Seriously, if you spend all your time down in the dumps, you can't focus on training and facing your fears, that that's the only thing that's keeping you from being the best apprentice in your clan." Emberpaw thought that, perhaps, his words were a slight bit too harsh for the timid apprentice, but he didn't really know how else to say them. He was at least being much less hard on Falconpaw than he would be on himself.