Alone [Closed]

He hadn't bothered cleaning the blood from his fur. He couldn't bear the thought of tasting his own daughter's blood.

Ashcloud padded slowly into Riverclan camp, hoping subconsciously that he still smelled enough like them to not be attacked on sight. The bloodstained tom didn't think that he'd fight back. He glanced down at his fur, which was still a deep pink from swimming to their island camp. Bile rose in his throat still at the thought of cleaning it out. But that would be after the burial, and before that, he needed to tell Mistfeather about what had happened.

Paws and tail dragging across the ground, waves of grief were still washing over him, at some point forcing him to stop and leave him shaking until he could pull together his composure again. Once he was before the warrior's den, he called out in a soft voice that shook heavily. "Mistfeather."

Mistfeather hadn't been expecting to be woken up in the middle of the night. Especially not by Ashcloud.

The two had not spoken since he had left RiverClan to live with Wisteriasky, her daughter and traitor medicine cat. She couldn't deny the disappointment that she felt when the only living kit from her first litter had expressed her distaste with clan boundaries and left their clan. Mistfeather's daughter had left her clan, her family, her apprentice, and her responsibilities. Even though it was a complete betrayal to the deputy, the mother in her could forgive her for everything done. The she-cat had her reasons, ones Mistfeather could understand. But Ashcloud's departure only made the hole in her heart grow stronger.

Lifting her head, the silver deputy saw his form standing just outside of the warrior's den. She felt a pain in her chest as she took in his appearance. His fur was matted with blood and soaked, exposing his pink skin. His expression was ghastly, as if he had witnesses horrors no cat should see. Pulling herself up from her nest, she slowly approached the white tom, concern filling her green eyes.

"Ashcloud? What happened? Are you okay?" she mewed, keeping her voice low and quiet. If any cat knew he was here, they might not be so kind. He was considered a traitor as well, after all. She nuzzled against him, trying to avoid taking in the foul smell of blood that clung to his fur. She was tempted to begin cleaning his fur for him, but something told her now wasn't the time. Mistfeather was more concerned with his well-being than his looks.

At the sight of the deputy, he could feel something inside him crack. He felt like breaking down, right then and there, and it was like there was a great snake slowly crushing his lungs. He couldn't even look at his mate, suddenly very aware of how much blood and water was beginning to pool at his paws. Again and again he tried to speak, opening and closing his mouth like a gaping fish. He couldn't form his sounds into conceivable words, voice fading out each time, turning into a miserable mumbling. It took minutes until he was able to speak coherently.

"Wisteria- Wisteriasky she - a Skyclan cat," he was blubbering now. He hadn't actually felt like this since his mother died, seasons and seasons ago. He didn't think he would ever feel quite like this ever again. Ashcloud had thought with definite certainty that he would be dead far before any of his kin. It seemed to be he had wrong. "She's dead," he said with quiet disbelief, yet in saying so the weight of what happened became so great that he wondered how he was not crushed yet. He didn't care anymore if someone came, thought him for a rouge, and killed him.

Mistfeather's worry only grew at the sight of his struggle. He fumbled for words, his voice cracking and breaking with every breath. He looked like he was on the verge of breaking down right then and there. What in StarClan's name had happened to turn such a calm minded, strong warrior into a sobbing mess?

His words struck her in the heart like freshly sharpened claws. Wisteriasky? Dead? No... Not her. She was the only surviving kit of her first litter, the only thing she had left of Palegaze. The last time she had spoken to her was during her last days in RiverClan, right before she left to become an independent medicine cat. The deputy couldn't dare speak to her after, lest she caught herself in a similar state as Ashcloud was currently in. There was no way she could call her daughter a traitor, but no way she could openly accept her decision. And now, here she was, stuck believing her daughter's last thoughts would be that her mother hated her for leaving.

The tabby's legs gave out beneath her, and her green eyes became glued to her mate's paws. "W-Wisteriasky..." she mumbled, her voice barely audible. She couldn't believe it. Nothing could be worse.

But it was. It only then clicked into her mind the first words he meowed. SkyClan. Murdered by a SkyClan cat. Their allies. A hiss rose in her throat, catching itself on the lump that came with it. Her voice was gone. Even if her rage equaled her despair, she could not express it. Mistfeather couldn't express anything in that moment.

ooc- I need to get over my addiction to procrastination

ic- The bloodied cat laid down beside Mistfeather, throat constricting in painful waves. What would he do now? Without an experienced medicine cat, the herbs they'd planted would wither and die, a waste of hard work. Where would he go? He could barely catch the mice in the barn, his arthritis had gotten so bad. He couldn't get up easily in the morning physically. But now he didn't have a reason to get up.

"The forest is too quiet," Ashcloud murmured. He looked to the sky, stars made bleary by the trapped tears in his green gaze. He placed his chin on the deputy's shoulders, stiffening as another series of sobs threatened to break free, forcing himself to bite his tongue to keep it in. What good would it do to cry now, when he'd had the time, when he would have the time later. "It's too quiet with our daughter gone." His claws dug sharply into the dirt, remembering that her body still lay in the supposedly neutral ground of Fourtrees.