An Age-Old Secret [Closed]

He'd felt so stressed by that Windclan cat. Asking about how he know Pebblelight... he couldn't bear holding his secret anymore. It felt like ants were crawling through his pelt, in his eyes, under his paws, in his ears. He'd held it in for seasons without trouble, then his grandson showed up and now his tongue slipped. Ashcloud hissed and slashed at the reeds where he'd kept his fish that day. Since then his shoulder had been put back in place, so he felt no pain. The nearly full moon glittered above, illuminating the river, his clan's side of the river, and Sunningrocks. We'll get them back one day. After the rest of our territory, of course.

The old tomcat raised his head when an only recently familiar scent came to his tongue. "Come on out, Cedarfur," he said, sounding strained even to himself.

Cedarfur couldn't take the old tom lying to him anymore. Ever since the topic had been put into the open, he had this growing restlessness he couldn't get rid of. The tom knew Ashcloud would scent him, but that was his plan. "Hello Ashcloud. Mind if I join you?" The tall tom didn't wait for a reply, he just sat next to the RiverClan cat and gave a nod. "I know what you told me about Pebblelight wasn't the whole truth. You can tell me, I'm not gonna go running to Falconstar." He said with a light laugh at the end.

"It's not him I'd be worried about," the white tom mumbled, thinking of the Windclan leader's son, Eaglethorn. Ashcloud shook his head and placed it on his paws, watching the riverside with half-lidded eyes. It was difficult to see, but his muzzle was covered with silver hairs. Back then he'd been straight out of apprenticehood, young and stupid, unbalanced since his mother's death. The past had been the past, with the deaths of his children from that single litter. He'd hoped to see his grandchildren, but never meet them personally, for this exact reason.

"Your mother," he began, uncertain, paranoid that someone was watching this encounter. "wasn't full Windclan blood. All knew there was Skyclan in her, since Silentstar's daughter had entered your clan many seasons ago, and had had children. None of them were Pebblelight, however, she was the child of one of those children." His eyes flickered up to Starclan, not in prayer, no, but asking Ravenwing herself if he could share this secret of theirs that they had held so long. Green eyes then glanced at the Windclan warrior beside him, gauging his reaction. This was only the easy part, after all.

Cedarfur listened to every word the old tom said. Not...fully WindClan? Does that mean I'm not fully WindClan? He thought anger burning inside him. No. You can't get angry. That was in the past, there's no one to even get angry at any more. They're all dead. The tall tom remained silent, not wanting to interrupt in case Ashcloud was about to say even more important information.

His heart sank at what he saw in the other tom's eyes. This wasn't going to go down easy. "Making you wish you'd never asked?" He sighed. His stomach was starting to feel a bit queasy, like there was a live fish trying to escape from his gut. Ashcloud subconsciously moved away, not letting down his guard for a moment.

"Are you sure you want to hear the rest? If you tell anyone at all, not only will your life be in jeopardy, so will your children's." The older warrior knew how much Windclan valued bloodlines, and every drop counted if one was found out to have produced, even be of half-clan blood. But oh no, this was much worse than that. Much, much worse. His head almost hung in shame at the thought of it.

"Well, I've come this far. Might as well break it to me. Though I already have a good idea on what you are going to say." He said sadly. But what did it matter. Probably most of the cats in all the clans weren't pure clan blood. "But I am going to tell my brother. He wouldn't tell a soul, so no need to worry. And I kind of feel bad because he should probably be the one hearing this."

"Just be careful when and where you tell him. Some cats have ears for things that aren't told to them." Ashcloud bit his tongue and let out a sigh, no stalling now.

"What I said before wasn't a lie. I did know your grandmother." His heart was quickening in pace. "She and I were... in a relationship at the time. Seasons, seasons ago." He shook his head, regretting ever mentioning Pebblelight's name. "What happened back then was something I'm not sure if I should regret or not. Pebblelight was the only kit of mine who ever had kits of her own."

Uncertain eyes watched Cedarfur constantly, wondering when he should stop, or maybe attempt to flee. He was in his own territory, after all. "Some cat you find by the river." He didn't specify who he was talking about, his grandson, or himself. Ashcloud flicked a stone into the water, watching it make ripples that swiftly melded into the river flow.

"Of course." Was all he said, not wanting the tom to stop talking. Currently, Cedarfur had mixed feelings about what Ashcloud was saying.

sorry for shortness!

He was starting to feel tight-lipped now. "I've made a mistake telling you, haven't I?" Ashcloud shivered, feeling a little envious of the other tomcat who could keep himself warm since he was so big. "It was a mistake that I'd hoped was too long ago to affect anyone now. But now I know of you, and your brother. And your children." The old tom looked defeated, exhausted by his own words. "I'm not glad about what happened. But I'm not regretful either. It's something I can't begin to explain."

He glanced sideways and shook his head. "Please, tell me how my daughter died. Your mother." Soft green eyes stared at the middle ground between him and the river.

Cedarfur had to filter everything this tom said. When he asked how she died, he wondered what to say. "She, died of kitting. I, I think it was a peaceful death, one she would have wanted."

He nearly shut his eyes. It was an ironic way to die, he supposed, but knew it was not peaceful. It was a painful experience by itself, knowing that they would die made it even more agonizing. "Aye. Wonder if they've told her yet, about me. Or if she's figuring this out for herself right now." He glanced at the sky, but he was unable to pick out her star. Maybe she'd find company in his mother. Or more likely her foster parents.

"Well, one day you'll get to see her again. So will I and my brother." He shook his fur. "Well, thank you for telling me. Now, I at least have some closure." The tall tom gave a meek smile, trying to look happy but wasn't.

Ashcloud's head dipped slightly. "I'm not expecting nor asking you to accept my words, but I will extend my protection of Pebblelight onto you and your brother, whether you want it or not," he chuckled at the end. He stood, feeling his joints creak and his white paws sink slightly into the grass. "Evening," he added as a goodbye, and trotted through the reeds back to camp.