Laying Awake. Laying Alone. Laying Afraid. (OPEN TO STARCLAN AND LIVING CATS)

All she wanted was some happiness. Is that too much to ask? She fixed her sins, she mended her wounds on others, she shut her mouth. What else did they want from her? Had Starclan abandoned her? Who knew. The large she-cat cried silent tears as she prayed for her brothers safety, her sisters sanity, and her brothers' love. But she knew one of them wouldn't last. She could feel it. She could sense it. She SAW it. She felt Ripplepaws presence. He was dead. And she was still here. I'm still here... The tears continued to fall. Her claws, unsheathed, ripped into the ground. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry I couldn't save you..." The scar on her face would stain, her tears to shed, her heart to waste. Her tears drowned her into a deep, deep sleep...

Mist. Stars. Blue. White. Green. Grey. Yellow. Brown. Red. Pink. So many colors surrounding her. Even Amber.
She said nothing and she stayed where she was. "So, you haven't completely abandoned me." She said coldly to nothing.

"Don't be sad all living things have to die eventually." Came the reply of a fiery orangish-yellow tom with blue eyes. He padded forward, his starry pelt glowing in the moonlight. "Hello young one i am Summitwind, Moonlights Uncle, and your great uncle." He meowed genlty as though not to scare her.

Slushpaw was just a bit startled at the cats sudden appearance, but relaxed soon enough. "It's nice to meet you." She said quietly. After hearing his words, she sighed. "Did Rust have to take my dear Ripplepaw so soon?" She asked, quite upset.

"My dear, all cats must pass on eventually. It's nothing to fear young one. We all have destinies, some end sooner than others." This soft mew came from Dewleaf, a Riverclan warrior who passed on moons before Slushpaw's birth. The beautiful silver tabby nuzzled the young cat, her sky blue eyes and pelt glowed silver, brimming with stars.

Slushpaw heaved a sigh, holding back tears. "What should I do? I... I don't know what to do. I miss him, s-so much... And I need to help my clan, but I'm scared. I'm scared I'll fault. My brother, Troutstep, and Whitefoot hate me and probably wish I was dead too. In fact, I kind of wish I was in Starclan. Far away from those fools who only care about being pure. It's not our faults we were born to Salmonstripe and Moonlight! I love them! I don't know what to do!" The she-cat was trailing off now, but she was freaking out. She gripped the ground, ripping out a bunch of grass and dirt, which somehow grew back in seconds. "...What's WRONG with me?!"

"Yes my darling, but know that Rust has been dead now and so is his mate who died from birth. She has three kits Blaze, Crimson, and Tigerkit of Thunderclan who will not know she is not from Thunderclan unless she wishes to know why she is discriminated. The rouges will be raised by Spirit Spiritclans leader. She will raise them good." Summitwind meowed gently, and softly.

Ripplepaw stood behind the other starry warriors. His thick brown fur sprinkled with glowing stars. His eyes were bright and a smiled curled over his face. The toms usually cold blue eyes were warm and loving.
"Slushpaw. I'm in a better place, and you know it." he mewed," don't worry anymore. It was my choice to go out there to find Moonlight. I knew the risks. I died beside him. I was happy to know I had such a wonderful family. Slushpaw... I love you, and like Dewleaf said... we all pass on sometime." He pressed his muzzle against her cheek.
"Starclan set my path. Yours has been set as well," he murmured.

Dewleaf swatted Summitwind with her thick tail, That's not what she needs to know! Holding a growl she guided the paw' under a large willow tree besides a chattering creek. Sitting she thought about the young cat's worries. "I never became a queen, so I don't really know what to say. Except, Slushapw, you have a great destiny. You will live long and prosper, I know things now seem dim. The stars are barely visible tonight. We mourn the loss of every warrior, especially young ones. Your relatives, they don't hate you, they have their own inner problems that clouds their minds. Don't fret, things will clear, and life will go on. Such as the river, sure stones and trees get in the way, yet it still flows on stronger than ever." She whispered hoping her words would save this young cat's soul from going down the wrong path.

"Oh, StarClan! You don't know what I've seen!" Cried a voice from behind Dewleaf. "I watched them all. Demolished, dead! Broken! Ripplepaw was one of the bravest." Her words were mixed up and confusing. "What a shame. I watched my mother die. My father die. My nephew die. My brother and cousin die. My sister! So many." She stated bitterly, giving a sickening hiss at the end. "Whitecloud, my mother, poisoned by your medicine cat. She deserved to die. Littlefang, died by battle wounds. Heartbreaking. Goldenflame, my nephew... Torn apart by hungry, flesh-eating foxes. Disgusting. My brother, Sunpelt, bitten by a poisonous adder. YUCK! My cousin, Flamestripe, died alongside Sunpelt. My sister, Frostsnap... Dead by the sickening, churning waves in that river. Poor Frostsnap." She moaned, letting out a pitiful yowl.

"Aunt Goldenpaw, please calm down," Called a tone from behind. It was Goldenflame, where the tom's scars were easily visible in his ripped flesh. "Yes, dearest, calm down," Meowed a feminine voice.

"But it's unpleasant." Goldenpaw responded warily. "It sounds like you're trying to make her more upset." "Pearlface" chimed in. Blood stained her pelt, an ugly frown stuck as her expression forever. Goldenflame, however, remained silent and simply floated away. Let them fight... He thought to himself, disappearing into the darkness.

Dewleaf flicked her tails in annoyance, "Please If you can't keep calm then do us all the favor and leave! I can't believe I'm stuck with her for eternity!" She hissed.

Slushpaw was overwhelmed. So many voices, too many to understand. But she heard one. Her sons turned into smiles as she heard her brothers soothing voice. She made her way to him, and butted him with her head. She let out a long, happy and sad purr. "My wonderful brother..." She said through tears. "I love you so." She purred, and gave him a few licks on the face. "I understand." She finally picked out voices and listened to all of them. They all care for me...

Ripplepaw smiled at Slushpaw.
"I'm stuck with them for eternity too," Ripplepaw chuckled and rolled his eyes at the other Starclan warriors.

"Ha not if i get a second chance." Summitwind purred cuffing his great nephew on the ear lightly with claws sheathed.

OOC:I think I'll give Summitwind a second chance. One day..